Discussing therapy with family and friends can be daunting, especially when they don’t understand or hold misconceptions about it. However, having open honest conversations about therapy can help break down barriers and foster a supportive environment. Here’s how to approach this sensitive topic effectively.

1. Approach with Empathy and Understanding

When bringing up therapy with family or friends, approach the conversation with empathy. Understand that their skepticism or lack of understanding may stem from cultural beliefs, misinformation, or personal experiences. Someone may have had a bad therapeutic experience or didn’t feel that it was helpful to them and that is okay. Additionally, many cultures have had historically traumatic pasts with abuse of professional relationships in clinical settings creating a layer of distrust in the system that therapy belongs to. It is vital that one educates themselves before attempting to educate someone else.

Example: “I know therapy can seem unfamiliar or even risky to some people, but it’s been incredibly helpful for me.”

2. Explain Therapy through Simple Relatable ways

Provide a straightforward explanation of what therapy is and how it works. Compare it to other forms of self-care or support to make it more relatable. It could be helpful to note that research shows therapy to have physical benefits, not just mental to those who don’t believe help is needed unless there is a physical symptom.

Example: “Therapy is like having a coach for your mind. It’s a safe space to talk about what’s going on in your life and learn ways to cope better.”

3. Share Your Personal Experience

Sharing your own positive experiences with therapy can help your loved ones understand its benefits. Highlight specific ways it has improved your life, and if you are willing, this could be a chance to open up about your struggles and find connection and support from this person.

Example: “Since I started therapy, I’ve been able to manage my anxiety better and feel more at peace. It’s given me tools to handle stressful situations more effectively.”

4. Address Common Misconceptions

Many people have misconceptions about therapy, such as it being only for people with severe mental health issues or viewing it as a sign of weakness. Gently address these myths if they arise. All beliefs are held due to what we are socialized to believe. You may simply have had a different experience that allowed the belief that therapy was the right choice for you.

Example: “A lot of people think therapy is only for when you’re really struggling, but it can be helpful for anyone. It’s like going to the gym to stay physically healthy, but for your mind.”

5. Normalize Mental Health Care

Compare therapy to routine medical care to help normalize it. Emphasize that seeking help for mental health is just as important as (and can be associated with) taking care of physical health. Research from the American Psychological Association states that psychotherapy, “provide(s) symptom relief and personality change, reduce future symptomatic episodes, enhance quality of life, promote adaptive functioning in work/school and relationships, increase the likelihood of making healthy life choices.” Just like we seek help when there is an issue with our bodies, we do the same when there is something preventing us from leading our best lives.

Example: “We all go to the doctor when we’re sick, right? Therapy is the same concept for our mental health. It helps keep our minds healthy and functioning well.”

6. Invite Open Questions

Encourage your family and friends to ask questions about your experience. Many people fear discussions due to the belief that the discussion will be an argument. If the conscious focus of these talks are on opening up a dialogue rather than being right, there is no reason for tensions to rise. Remind yourself and others that this conversation is not being forced on them and questions are likely to occur out of mutual curiosity of the other’s perspective. This can help clear up any doubts and make them feel more comfortable with the idea of therapy.

7. Be Patient and Respectful

Understand that changing someone’s perspective on therapy may take time. Be patient and respectful of their views, even if they don’t immediately understand or agree with you. If your family or friends are not receptive to the idea of therapy, respect their boundaries. Focus on sharing your experiences.

Example: “I know therapy isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. It’s just been something that’s really helped me personally.”

8. Describe Evidence Based Practice+ Suggest Resources

A helpful point to make to family and friends is that therapy is proven to be helpful and each individual intervention is also thoroughly studied before it is used on clients. Just as a doctor wouldn’t prescribe a medication without it being approved by the FDA, therapists only use tried and true methods with clients. If your family or friends are open to learning more, suggest resources like books, articles, or videos from reputable sources. Sometimes hearing from experts can be more convincing.

Below is a link to an analysis of therapy being beneficial to a wide range of participants all over the world: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9832112/

9. Highlight the Positive Impact on Relationships

Explain how therapy has not only helped you but also improved your relationships with others by helping you understand unhealthy patterns, work on conflict resolution skills, and just being a source of support and offering a new perspective during changes or stressful times over the life course . This can demonstrate the broader benefits of therapy.

Example: “Therapy has helped me communicate better and be more present with you all. It’s made a positive difference in how I relate to and connect with you.”

Summary + Reminder

Talking about therapy with family and friends who don’t understand it can be challenging, but with empathy, patience, and clear communication, you can help legitimize its value both to you and possibly societally. By sharing your personal experiences, addressing misconceptions, and providing relatable explanations, you can foster a more supportive and understanding environment. Remember, the goal is to share information and create awareness, not to force a change in beliefs. With time and openness, your loved ones may come to appreciate the positive impact therapy can have on mental health and relationships. It is crucial to remember that if these conversations become too taxing for your own mental health, you do not owe anyone an explanation nor are you obligated to educate anyone on your therapeutic path.

Connect with one of our therapists in Raleigh or Holly Springs, NC if you’d like to discuss the challenges of discussing therapy with friends and family.