By: Rachel Crickmar
Understanding Your Window of Tolerance
Have you ever felt like you were “too much” or “not enough” when emotions hit hard? Maybe you’ve noticed moments when you were completely overwhelmed—or times when you shut down and went numb. These are experiences many of us have, and they’re not signs of weakness—they’re signs that you may be operating outside your Window of Tolerance.
At Therapeutic Partners we often use this concept to help clients understand their emotional reactions and learn tools for regulation. Understanding your Window of Tolerance is a powerful step toward feeling more balanced, grounded, and in control.
What Is the Window of Tolerance?
The Window of Tolerance is a term coined by Dr. Dan Siegel. It describes the emotional zone where we are best able to function, cope, and respond to stress effectively. Within this window, we can think clearly, feel our feelings without being overwhelmed, and stay connected to ourselves and others. Outside of this window, our nervous system may react in two common ways:
1. Hyperarousal “Fight or Flight”
- Anxious or panicky
- Irritable or angry
- Restless and unable to concentrate
- Like everything is urgent or too much
This is your body’s way of saying, “I don’t feel safe. I need to act.”
2. Hypoarousal “Freeze or Shut Down”
- Numb or disconnected
- Depressed or unmotivated
- Emotionally flat
- Unable to speak, think, or act
This is your nervous system trying to conserve energy or protect you by shutting down.
What Affects Your Window of Tolerance?
Everyone’s window looks different—and it can expand or shrink depending on life circumstances, trauma history, stress levels, and support systems.
Some things that narrow your window:
- Chronic stress
- Trauma or unresolved grief
- Lack of sleep, food, or safety
- Burnout
Things that can expand your window:
- Therapy and emotional processing
- Grounding and mindfulness
- Supportive relationships
- Self-care and routine
How to Stay Within Your Window of Tolerance
The goal isn’t to never feel big emotions—it’s to notice when you’re outside your window and develop skills to gently bring yourself back.
Regulation Strategies:
Grounding Techniques
- Name 5 things you can see, hear, and feel
- Hold something with texture or weight, notice every component
- Walk barefoot outside
Breathing Exercises
- Try box breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4)
- Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly as you breathe, then try to keep your chest still and inhale and exhale letting your belly inflate and deflate.
Movement
- Stretch, dance, shake out your arms
- Go for a walk or do gentle yoga
Connection
- Call a friend
- Spend time with a pet
- Let someone know you’re having a hard moment
Name the Feeling
- Saying “I’m overwhelmed” out loud can help shift the experience
- Labeling emotions engages your thinking brain and reduces intensity
Therapy Can Help Expand Your Window
Learning to regulate your emotions isn’t about becoming “perfect” at staying calm—it’s about building awareness, self-compassion, and choice. If you feel like your emotions are running the show, therapy can help you:
- Identify your personal signs of hyper- or hypoarousal
- Practice tools to return to your window
- Explore how your past experiences shape your nervous system today
Understanding your Window of Tolerance can help you feel more in control of your emotional world. You’re not “too sensitive” or “too shut down”—you’re human, and your nervous system is doing its best to keep you safe.
By: Rachel Crickmar
Burnout has become more than just a buzzword—it’s a real and growing issue affecting people across all walks of life. Whether you’re a student, parent, professional, caregiver, or all of the above, chronic stress can leave you feeling emotionally and physically depleted. At Therapeutic Partners, we often hear clients say things like:
“I feel exhausted no matter how much I rest.”
“I’m just going through the motions.”
“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and there are ways to recover and protect your well-being.
What Is Burnout?
Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress—especially when that stress is tied to responsibilities you care deeply about. It can affect your work, relationships, and overall sense of purpose.
Common Signs of Burnout Include:
- Constant fatigue or lack of motivation
- Feeling irritable, numb, or detached
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Loss of interest in things you once enjoyed
- Physical symptoms like headaches, insomnia, or digestive issues
Burnout vs. Stress & Steps to Recover from Burnout
While stress often feels like “too much” (too many demands, too little time), burnout feels more like “not enough”—not enough energy, motivation, or meaning. It’s the difference between being overwhelmed and being emptied out.
1. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling
The first step is naming what’s happening. Burnout isn’t a personal failure—it’s a signal from your body and mind that something needs to change.
2. Reevaluate Your Commitments
Burnout often stems from doing too much, too often, for too long. Ask yourself:
- What can I delegate, delay, or decline?
- Where am I saying yes when I need to say no?
3. Prioritize Rest and Recovery
This includes physical rest (sleep, breaks, downtime) and emotional rest (time away from people or activities that drain you). Make rest non-negotiable, not a reward you earn after productivity.
4. Connect with Support
Burnout thrives in isolation. Talking with a therapist, friend, or support group can help you feel seen, heard, and supported as you recover.
5. Reconnect with Joy
Try to reintroduce small moments of pleasure into your day—whether it’s listening to music, walking outside, painting, or simply doing something with no outcome attached.
6. Create Boundaries
Burnout recovery often means learning to say no without guilt and creating space to protect your peace. Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re necessary for sustainability.
When to Seek Professional Help
If you’re feeling stuck in burnout or it’s starting to affect your relationships, health, or ability to function, therapy can help. Together, we can explore the root causes, process your emotions, and build strategies to help you feel like yourself again.
You Deserve to Feel Whole Again
Burnout doesn’t have to be your new normal. With support and intention, you can begin to feel more grounded, clear-headed, and reconnected with what matters most.
🧠🌿 Your healing is worth prioritizing.
